No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
