She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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