you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
