My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
