So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
