therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
