im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
