no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
