I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
