The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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