and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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