I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
