yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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