Me too!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think my moral compass just broke
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
