im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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