just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
