Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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