Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
