I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
