I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
