hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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