the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
