I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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