im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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