I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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