Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
