I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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