Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you didnt know i had herpes?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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