I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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