dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
