happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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