First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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