Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
