yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
