I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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