If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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