Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
