i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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