Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
