What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
