Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
