Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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(240): View more from Maryland

captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done

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(815): View more from Illinois

if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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(512): View more from Texas

I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.

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(727): View more from Florida

SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard

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(727): View more from Florida

If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?

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