This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize