i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
