i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
