one two three fourrrrnication!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
