I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
