I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
