Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize