Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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