I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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