I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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