dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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