I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
