I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize