the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize