don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
