In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize