So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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