It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You're earring is so big in my mouth
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
