I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
