sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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