No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
