I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
