yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
