Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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