Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
