remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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