good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
